Tuesday, March 17, 2009

How It Happens - A First Person Narrative

You sit silently in the driver seat of your now idling Pontiac. "The call was placed minutes ago. They'll be here soon." you think as you light a cigarette. A few hard drags to get the Camel smoldering. You roll down the window and listen... listen to the fresh spring night. The silence is distracting. Thoughts of the different events of the recent past, as well as what the future has in store makes your mind wonder. Music. The music is the only thing that stays the same. The smoke of the cigarette seems to flow to the beat. You drop the cigarette on the ground, and watch the window as it slowly makes its way back home. Take a deep breath, rest your head on the window, and wait. Out of the corner of your eye, there's a flash of light. "They're here."

The shiny red BMW pulls along side your car. Lower the music and look on as they turn off the car and enter the atmosphere. "Come smoke a cig with us man" says the one you intend to leave with. You too open the door and break the seal into the cool spring air. You light yet another cigarette and admire the car they came in. Dragging on the cigarette you listen in on what they're saying. "Yeah dude, I played disc earlier" you toss in, referring to the first bought of warm weather for the New Year. Before no time, the cigarettes have reached their finishing point and it's time leave. You open the door unlocking the passenger door in the process. The BMW creeps out of the parking lot. "Sup man" inquires the passenger. You start the car and begin to drive. "You ready to smoke?" "What kind of question is that?" you ask

this part takes the longest. Breaking up the weed, filling the frequently used bubbler with liquid... anything you can find, and finding a spot to park. Driving from one side of the city to the next, thinking of places to go. You pass a location that you have begun to frequent in the last few months. "Is it cool to smoke weed here?" you throw out there, with full intent of parking there anyways. The answer is quick and uplifting... the words now are lost in the commotion of the evening, but they showed no restraint. The timing is perfect. Put the car in park, turn off the lights, slant back your seat, find your lighter, and breathe in the sensation. The bowl seems to take no time at all to cook itself into extinction. "When I’m done with this" You begin, looking out the window "I'm going to go walk around out there". Your passenger agrees, and in no time, you're back into the openness of the outside world. You light your next cigarette and begin walking. You two fill the time talking about nothing important, and soon you're back at the car. Getting inside you turn on the car for slight warmth, and roll your window down in preparation for your next cigarette. The music is massaging all your senses. The world is numb, and you too, are numb with it. As the cigarette burns its way down, you pull out your phone... find something to take advantage of the situation with. "I'm fucking blazed" you recount to yourself, thinking of the bowl of crystaly, leafy, dense nugget. You glance up for only a second. You don't even assess the situation "it's a cop" you say without conveying emotion. You can literally feel it click in your mind "it's a cop" Your heart begins to beat faster than you believe you can handle. He's moving so slowly you can't tell if he's even moving at all. You begin to slightly shake; all your nerves are numb. There's no way out of this... "See you in jail" says the passenger.



And THAT'S how it happens

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Job Hunt

I'm sure I'm not the only poor fool who is currently suffering from "Unemploymentitus". In fact, I've heard quite a few people have this unthinkable sickness.

According to the United States Department of Labor, the unemployment rate went from 7.2 percent in December to 7.6 in early January. Alright... small numbers right? well let's do the math for this. I can't seem to find the exact population as of now in 2009, but in July of 2008 there were 303,824,640 Registered American Citizens. 7.6 percent of that is 23,090,672. that's TWENTY THREE MILLION unemployed americans! But wait a second... how many of those are under the age of 18? how many of them are retired? that's something very hard to find out on a simple HP laptop, but that's still a staggering number.

Right now i happen to only be a small fraction of us unemployed, but i'm part of a large number of people who need economic help. i'm not saying i don't understand how economics work... im saying i'm one broke mother fucker.

it is my personal opinion that outsourcing is one of the biggest problems concerning this economic crisis.

This Circular Flow Chart shows the perfect economy. all the money that is made, is spent. this retains a perfect blance. when you introduce the use of foreign services and businesses, the circular flow becomes disrupted. Some business owners are cutting costs by dropping american workers in exchange for cheaper labor in other countries. he doesn't get to retain his money for doing this, he still has to pay them. so now his money is going to a different country, and being put into THEIR economy. what a bunch of bullshit.

So what are our plans to fix our economic crisis? a Stimulous check? the government wants us to go out and spend money on the very companies that are outsourcing american jobs, and putting us out. i mean, it sounds like a solid plan on paper "The government hopes to stimulate the flagging economy by putting some extra cash in people's pockets - cash they can spend, add to their savings account, and use to help pay next month's mortgage. As long as they don't put it under their mattress, President Bush and Congress - who came together earlier this year to pass a so-called economic stimulus package - will be satisfied." -CNNMONEY.COM

if anyone actually ends up reading this... what are your thoughts on our economys current status, and what do you think we should do about it?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Simple Bathroom Etiquette

My Life on Shitter Paper...

that's right, i am the kind of guy who is willing to write down his life story on a roll of toilet paper, in a public bathroom, and have someone wipe their ass with it.

this isn't just a metaphor, i actually did this once.

i'm planning on doing it again. with this blog, i'm going to document my life, and everyone who reads it, in one way or another, metaphorically or maybe even physically...(bastards) will wipe their ass with it.

it is my hope, that some good will come from you reading my blogs. whether they make you think, put a smile on your face, or gets that last chunk of corn from between your crack...

i hope you enjoy!